Surreal Ice Cream Dream

We drove into a new chapter of the community of Buena Vista that was still under construction. The colors were bright and vibrant and you could tell that the paint wasn't cheap. In order to get to this new neck of the woods, you first had to drive through the old and weathered Main Street. The colors were dull there, yet still full of developed character that had been established over a hundred years earlier. We drove by the old courthouse that had been transformed into an uninteresting museum with few prospects. Our kids were hardly impressed and more concerned with their own conversations then the old architecture. However, the right turn off Main Street onto a freshly graded dirt road changed that. The kids stared out the window like we were on the movie set of Edward Scissorhands. Even I was impressed with the uniformity disguised as "a new way of living." We parked the car in front a field and I ordered some pizza. We played games in the warm afternoon sun and climbed around the brand new bouldering rock. The river was right there, and kayakers were using it to its fullest potential. Frisbees and footballs flew across the sky while we waited for our food to come and life was good. A group of fifty people rode by on classic bicycles decked out in fifties gear! This is miraculous considering the town only has a few thousand residents and it was an idle Thursday afternoon. I felt like we had warped through time and the mood confirmed this. The bikers began to play games of their own for a brief break before they were on their way again. But before they left, they offered a box full of goodies for us to use. They said we could leave it out when we were done and they would retrieve it the next day. They weren’t afraid of it being taken and I realized what this new section of town was being built around; trust and community. It seemed too good to be true, but apparently it’s not... it’s just expensive, that’s all. All in all, it was a great experience, Buena Vista that is. Good people, beautiful landscapes, and a comfortable town, both old and new, that just happens to be the home of K's Diner, boasting the best Oreo freezes this side of the Mississippi!

Time Fly’s And Then It Just Stops!

you never know ahead of ...time, when this change is going to occur. And when it does, time is the last thing on your mind. I was a recent stowaway on a river trip on the Arkansas River near the town of Buena Vista, CO. It was a great trip full of the usual fun and adventure that accompanies white water rafting, till we reached the end of pinball rapid in Browns Canyon. We floated around the bend cheering and laughing only to come across a scene of confusion and chaos. There were three boats full of somber faces that had pulled ashore river right. Just downstream was a river guide with a rope thrown across the river. We weren’t sure what he wanted us to do, so we tried to ‘eddy out’ river left to get out of his way. He, very sternly, told us not to stop and to push on downstream. Just in front of us a raft had been pulled out of the water and up some twenty feet of the embankment onto the abandoned railroad tracks that ran parallel with the river. The raft was on its side with six people around it. As we passed it I looked back fully aware that something was seriously wrong. A man was on his knees pumping another’s chest over and over. Not one of the kids on our trip realized what was going on. When we finished our trip, I was told that the CPR was not successful, and the stranger I knew nothing about died right there on the side of the river. It was a day of both physical and mental extremes, a day that will stick with me for a long time to come.

Rock On Dude

We followed the directions left on the voice-mail, it was clear this was going to be a wild goose chase. We drove up the canyon blindly, with faith that there might be hope for us. The canyon was beautiful, alive with vibrant colors and a brisk chill. We pulled off the road after the second tunnel as we had been instructed via voice-mail and looked up to the cliffs behind us. A small band of free spirits waved and hollered. We had found our morning adventure. As we hiked up the hillside, a feeling of eagerness filled me. I quickly caught up with Erik, Kelsey, and Tyson and we all- unspoken- understood how lucky we were. They told me it was my turn to climb, so I harnessed up an gripped onto the cliff with my tiny fingers shaking from excitement. Kelsey told me I could clean the route and Tyson doubted her choice while explaining the task at hand to my blank and distracted face. He told me this was extremely important stuff, I assured him I would be fine and was up to the job. I climbed slow, taking my time to savor the experience; embracing the tingling that overran my feet about half way up, the stinging sensation that accompanies a solid hand wedge. It was a great way to start the day, to start the next chapter...

Up, Down,Turn Around

Its not enough,
More; more I say to myself hoping that my command catches my own ears. So I keep pushing forward; pushing the limits. It is invigorating, and it is constantly reminding me how lucky I am.
I believe that we grow the most when we take ourselves outside of our comfort zones, and keep an open mind when it comes to decisions to be made.
So whatever choices I end up making throughout life, I will always reach for the choices that hold the greatest opportunities. My skin tingles at the thought, anxiety races through my veins as I imagine the possibilities, dreaming of what will come my way next. I have decided not to pass up the random opportunities that I ‘should be’ too old for, wise for, or not entirely ready for according to some of my peers. Am I afraid; of so many things and then some. But I am far more concerned about missing a life changing experience. It is this motive that propels me forward into the unknown. As I think of all this, I grow more and more excited.
I am about to leave California for the summer, as I have so many times before. There is something in the air; I can feel it as it is finally hitting me that I leave in just a couple short days. I am ready, ready for life, and it feels good.

Ignore the Obvious

My mind is swirling with emotions. The effects of last night’s hypnosis have still not completely worn off. And so, stuck in my head, like tortuous nightmares are a whole slew of memories that are taking all the rational knowledge I possess and turning it upside down and against itself. I have never wanted to ignore my own advice so bad, and yet I know obeying it is my only hope toward a cease fire between the two opposing organs in my body. How could something that was once as plain as day become so blurry and confusing? As if I went to bed with 20/20 vision, only to somehow wake up with eyes that no longer see clearly as a consequence to the actions of my dreams. My dreams that seem so real now… too real. I want them to stop for the sake of my sanity, and yet I pray that they don’t because once they are gone, I fear they will be gone forever. Are they really too much to handle? Or just not enough? How is this possible? Why have I abandoned reason and my own best interest? How will any of us ever truly know what our best interest is? And why is our best interest always associated with rational thought? It’s simple, really; rational thought is the easiest way to ignore your feelings. It is the way to justify the rejection of your body. And it is always right in the long run… isn’t it? But what great art came from being rational? What poetry, music, and love ever came from being rational? So the real question can finally be asked. What is your life to you? Is it art? Irrational, like a roller coaster of experiences and emotions, thrills and chills, ups and downs? Or is it rational, a series of going through the motions in search for the path of least resistance? Its clear as night which one makes more sense, isn’t it? So we all try to think rationally, coming up with entire philosophies to justify us ignoring what our bodies are trying to communicate to us. And it works most of the time, doesn’t it. And yet sometimes… sometimes it just doesn’t feel right.

For Your Consideration

I digress from my desperation, indignation, self pitying hostile communication,

Because the truth is no confirmation will be found in an accusation of false representation,

This may sound like a bout of confusion, clutter, or contradiction, and believe me it is.

My hesitation for the predication of my former inspiration has left me doubting all my idealization, justification, and meditation,

The ramification for my gravitation toward simplification has led to utter, dismal, devastation

And now I search for a parallel gratification that will bring my emancipation from such agitation,

I know it can’t be found through the boredom of stagnation, subordination before a delegation, corporation, or congregation,

Nor from masturbation, senseless procreation, the membership of an amalgamated organization,

Hallucination, experimentation, or fragmentation,

But only through evaluation, jubilation, and improvisation will I remember the revelation

That life is all about the journey,

Rather than the destination.

Its BeenToo Long

WOW, time really fly’s when you’re… studying. My life, or lack there of, has been engulfed by academia. So much so that my head can not retain much of the data that passes through it. I know that the quality of some of my closest friendships has suffered from it and hope that they understand my absence from their lives. And yet, I love it here. School is… school is cool. And living on campus is like discovering the fountain of youth. I was not sure how I would be received when I arrived, but have been pleasantly surprised with acceptance and friendship. They say that you are who you surround yourself by, and I am lucky enough to be surrounded by some of the nicest people I have ever met. So what if they are ten years younger than me. Only rarely does it feel like that. So I hope all will forgive this hiatus and know that it won’t last forever.