traveling south

It’s a constant mess we keep making for our selves and I cant say that I regret it. The harder I try to make it easier…well I guess that about says it all right there. The harder I try to make it easier. Ha. I should have learned by now that it’s so much easier to make it harder. You can really put things into perspective while you take a leak touching elbows with an old woman who doesn’t suspect a thing. She smiled and so I smiled right back. It makes me smile to think what’s possible these days.

I am heading for the fall… like I have never seen it before. Reds and yellows are what I dream of but who knows if the trees just look like that in the movies. I guess I will soon. I

I really am excited to have my first glimpse of the blue ridge mountains.

goin' country

Nothing speeds up recovery time like making yourself
look like an idiot. And we all know that I have
definitly mastered that skill. I was tired of everyone
feeling sorry for me in the wheel chair so I picked
out these colors on the casts so people would just
think about that in the time that they passed me by.
Its been working great!
Fight the stash,

diving off the deep end

It’s a crazy thought, death. So consuming, hard to get off once you get on to it. To go out in a blaze of glory…it sounds good doesn’t it. A good way to be remembered. Much better then Aunt Mary who took ten years to wither away in that cold hospital bed, withering everyone who knew her as well. Yes that is definitely not for me.

So now all that’s left is figuring out how to be remembered and who will actually be willing to help.

Lost at sea is about as stoic as they come. But the draw of saying that today is a good day to die, and walking deep into nature to let its children return me to the earth is pretty impressive. I guess it would really depend on my physical condition. Free falling would be pretty impressive as well, but I don’t know anyone that would push a quadriplegic out of an airplane. One thing is definite. It would be wrong to take others lives in my final hurrah.

Keep changing colors

So every day this week I have gotten something in the mail. It’s pretty exciting. My favorites are the bills. Every day last week included one for at least a grand. But today was the best by far. It weighed so much I could hardly hold back the excitement as I tore open the envelope. And there it was, a beautiful number indeed. Twenty one thousand and blah blah something something to be exact!

The best part is I still haven’t gotten all my bills yet. In fact I am not even a third of the way through my recovery yet!

I know what you are asking. What goes through a mans head when he sees a bill like this come his way? Does he have regret? Does he cry? Does he think about any possible deep pockets in the family that would be willing to bail him out of the mess he got himself into? Or if he should go back on everything he stands for and sue?

The answer to all of these was no. Rather I simply began to laugh. You know the laugh that I am talking about don’t you? The one with the crazy eyes that a kamikaze dive bomber gets right before he crashes into an enemy destroyer! Some of you might have been lucky enough to have seen me in a state like this before. It’s quite scary for some while others just laugh and enjoy the ride. I must admit, I really enjoy it myself.

As I began to read through the details the laugh grew stronger in conviction. Each screw cost between $45 and $90 dollars. But don’t worry; I am going to try to return some of them when they come out. And I can finally say that I went on a three day drug binge that cost me thirty five hundred bucks! If only the drugs would have worked it would have been all worth it. The disposable tourniquet was $650 bucks but I vividly remember them using an old water weenie so I must talk to them about that. The best deal I got was for that fucking catheter they gave me. They only charged me $220 for it after seeing the pain I went through when they ripped it out. Oh the list goes on, but I don’t want to bore you.

No, instead I think I shall get to the point…uh…

Well the truth is, what’s done is done and uh… I am sure I will look back on this one day and laugh. Wait a minute that’s it right there. I’m laughing right now. Ha! Ha I say. So take that to the bank and fucking spend it!

Laughing Out Loud, Daniel Curtis Zahn!