Keep changing colors

So every day this week I have gotten something in the mail. It’s pretty exciting. My favorites are the bills. Every day last week included one for at least a grand. But today was the best by far. It weighed so much I could hardly hold back the excitement as I tore open the envelope. And there it was, a beautiful number indeed. Twenty one thousand and blah blah something something to be exact!

The best part is I still haven’t gotten all my bills yet. In fact I am not even a third of the way through my recovery yet!

I know what you are asking. What goes through a mans head when he sees a bill like this come his way? Does he have regret? Does he cry? Does he think about any possible deep pockets in the family that would be willing to bail him out of the mess he got himself into? Or if he should go back on everything he stands for and sue?

The answer to all of these was no. Rather I simply began to laugh. You know the laugh that I am talking about don’t you? The one with the crazy eyes that a kamikaze dive bomber gets right before he crashes into an enemy destroyer! Some of you might have been lucky enough to have seen me in a state like this before. It’s quite scary for some while others just laugh and enjoy the ride. I must admit, I really enjoy it myself.

As I began to read through the details the laugh grew stronger in conviction. Each screw cost between $45 and $90 dollars. But don’t worry; I am going to try to return some of them when they come out. And I can finally say that I went on a three day drug binge that cost me thirty five hundred bucks! If only the drugs would have worked it would have been all worth it. The disposable tourniquet was $650 bucks but I vividly remember them using an old water weenie so I must talk to them about that. The best deal I got was for that fucking catheter they gave me. They only charged me $220 for it after seeing the pain I went through when they ripped it out. Oh the list goes on, but I don’t want to bore you.

No, instead I think I shall get to the point…uh…

Well the truth is, what’s done is done and uh… I am sure I will look back on this one day and laugh. Wait a minute that’s it right there. I’m laughing right now. Ha! Ha I say. So take that to the bank and fucking spend it!

Laughing Out Loud, Daniel Curtis Zahn!